There are times in life when we suffer. There are times in life when we thrive. Then there are times when we’re just sort of plodding along. Can you guess which stage I’ve been in the past few days?
I’ve been my normal range of emotions: happy, sad, cranky, manic, depressed. The lows aren’t too bad and the highs are getting under control. I’m going to therapy, taking my meds, and doing what I’m “supposed” to do.
I wanted to write a meaningful piece (one that I’m actually collaborating with a fellow bipolar blogger for) about symptoms, but lately I’ve felt this aversion to opening up. A new symptom has appeared, and I’m not comfortable talking publicly about it yet. Partially because I don’t really understand it. This lack of understanding has made me realize how important it is that I first inform myself and then inform my readers. Part of fighting stigma is providing information. So expect a blog post on that early next week!
I’ve also been feeling confused about my YouTube channel. While I love making humorous videos, I also want to post thrifting hauls and some prettier music videos. Part of me says “Do what you want! It’s your channel!” and another part says “That’s a poopy idea, you stinky loser.” I’m sorry that half of my sub-conscience is a three-year-old that hasn’t had a nap yet.
Tina Fey is sort of my spirit animal, if you didn’t know. On occasion, I’ve been compared to her (because of improv), and they had to restart my heart both times. Bottom line: I love Tina Fey.
Part of plodding along is frustrating. I feel like I could be accomplishing more, and yet I’m stuck. But things aren’t really that bad, so I feel guilty for complaining. I feel like I’m in the middle of a hundred projects, but not a single one is inspiring enough at this moment.
I need to take some time to relax and refocus. I’ll be in my room watching Mean Girls and reading Bossypants while dressed up like Tina Fey as a man if you have any questions.