Here I Am…

It’s been awhile since I have posted. Nothing much new here. Been sick a bit – had a nasty stomach flu thing that went around the family. Then lovely allergies that are still lingering…. Benadryl has been my friend. Mentally I’ve been here and there… Really been doing ok, but have my moments of insanity. I mean manical type insanity, with the laugh and making no sense. But it’s been manageable. It’s like after it all falls out of my mouth, I realize what I have done, and then I try to carry on like I meant to do that, ya know?  Been worried about my Ms. Tea and hoping she is doing ok.

Heard from an old friend on FB and learned that her daughter who is in highschool has a bit of a crazy ex and my heart just broke about the whole situation. Having been stalked by an ex and going through many traumatic experiences with him, it just brings those feelings back to the surface.

Do you have PTSD forever? I mean is it like Bipolar? Because I have been having the odd dreams of my ex who stalked me, and in my dreams he is trying to kidnap my youngest daughter… I have no idea why, because she isn’t his, and I don’t talk to him and he doesn’t even live in this state, but it was weird having these kind of scary dreams about him again. And having that paranoia kick back in, and the scared feeling…. I could only place my finger on my PTSD that I was diagnosed with when all of this stalking business was going on 20 years ago….

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