Upswing; Party of 1!

I’m going up…. FUCK!

It’s almost midnight and I am doing laundry. I have to get up in 6 hours. This is going to be fun! Because, I’m not one bit tired. Going to have to drink some bedtime tea because if I take a melatonin, I will deff. have a hang over tomorrow.

In awesome news: I was told tonight that at times I can act inappropriate. Say embarrassing things. Sometimes it’s funny or cute, other times it is embarrassing for other people.

Wow, really? Has anyone ever told you guys that I suffer from Bipolar Disorder?

My feelings are kind of hurt. But I’m ok because I understand that I can be like that at times. I have just never been called out on it before. Which leaves me confused, because I was led to believe that I was “fine” by certain people. There wasn’t anything wrong with me and I didn’t need meds (By people NOT doctors… Doctors like to keep me drugged up of course… because I’M SICK IN THE DAMN HEAD!!!). And NOW I am told all of this? I mean maybe it’s just time that has passed and made people feel more comfortable to say these things to me? I know they meant no harm. But, it is kind of important for people to tell me when I do things, because I clearly don’t know when I do them.

Can’t fucking win with this disease can you? As if it wasn’t hard enough to keep yourself happy…. let alone other people? Throw in this fucking mental disorder and it just makes things SO MUCH EASIER!?

Sorry. I realize I’m not right in the head right now. Sorry guys. But I need to vent… Need to get this out…

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