Alone

It has been a month since my last post, and it has been a very ugly month.  I am alone now, just my Mother, Son & I. My husband went to a therapy appointment  that I made for him, and it was a double appointment because I had to talk to someone about what has been going on here. The therapist was kind, but not very helpful to me, as she was not used to dealing with bipolars, only people with depression. I have to say I was glad that she was upfront about her lack of experience, she is a Psychologist, not a Psychiatrist and she said I needed more help than she was able to give. She first spoke to my husband, then to the both of us together[which in my opinion was a huge mistake] and after she saw that her strategy wasn’t working, she sent my husband out to wait whilst she spoke with me. Now, I was agitated, and I am a pacer, I cannot sit still when agitated, and this bothered her very much. That is when she told me that she would give me a referral  to a Psychiatrist, and then she called my husband back in, and had him tell me what his plans were. He then just blindsided me by saying he was going back to Vancouver and that he was leaving on Sunday [3 days from then] He also said he didn’t know when he was coming back, but that he would come back. So he left 3 days later. He said he was not abandoning us, but how do you think I felt? And still feel? He left on August 12th. And you all know about the bullshit with the landlord and all the drama that I posted about, so I have had to deal with people & Lawyers and a child who misses his father and I have never felt more alone in my life. My Mum is a help with my son, but emotionally she is rather cold, the “stiff upper lip thing” and all of that. I am alone, and I cannot cope. I AM ALONE.

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