Back to Reality

Vacation was great. I have color, had a good time, and relaxed. Had a lot of moments of realization but with that, I also had moments of perplexed thought.

The house was still standing when we got back. Didn’t look like any parties had taken place in our absence. The house did kind of smell like pee which kind of pissed me off (the little dog will NOT go pee out in the rain, you have to force her to. And since it rained here for the most part, I am guessing that is what the pee smell was).

I just don’t understand why people lie. And why do they lie about me? And the lies make me look like this horrible ogre. I think what makes it all hurt worse is that these lies are coming from my own daughter. She lies to my face, she lies behind my back. It just makes me so sad.

But without getting into all my personal business… I’m dealing the best that I can.

Only took Ativan twice on vacation; on the way there, and on the way home. Only had one day where I has out of sorts and grumpy. That was like mid-week, so perhaps I was just having a bad day.

I miss my friend Miss Tea. (That is our nickname for her; She coined them. I am Miz. Coffee and she is Miss. Tea) I know she has been having a rough time lately with a lot going on. So, Miss. Tea, if you are reading this; I love you, miss our talks, and hope things are sorting themselves out. We need to video chat soon!

Today is my 11 year wedding anniversary. God Bless my husband! We have been together for 12 or so years. But as you can imagine, it’s been a bumpy ride. I thought about this recently, and have realized that this past year our relationship has improved greatly. I have been med-free and I feel like I have had an actual part in the relationship. I have been participating. So, I’m taking it all in stride. Because you never know what is going to happen and when you are going to be thrown in the nut hut or be put back on meds. I received a lovely sapphire/diamond and white gold necklace. To match my ring he gave me last year for our anniversary. He is thoughtful at times. :) I think I’ll keep him. Thank the powers that be that he has stuck by my side. I have been a hot mess, and have had my moments of NON-Clarity…

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