Daily Archives: July 24, 2012

Silly Monkeys Mid Afternoon Mental Moment

Pardon our Dust as we Interrupt the scheduled programming because one of  the Monkeys is a Dufus.   But come back in a bit…   we will be back up and silly Don;t Make Me Come Find You! I will too… you can run…   if you ant to or you can leave your friends behind … Continue reading

Lazy days

I’ve just realised that trying to write an even vaguely interesting blog post after walking the best part of 14 miles a day is going to be a bit of a challenge (as anyone who has bothered to read this far already will probably wholeheartedly agree with).

So I’ve decided on lazy days I’m just going to post a picture or too that I like. Hope you do too.

But there is one story worth sharing…

These two photos will give you a pretty good idea of what the 22.5kwalk from Zarautz to Deba is like: gorgeous, but largely uphill.

And at the summit of the steepest climb, this is the sight that greets you:

Call me old-fashioned, but I would have thought that a plateau 500m above sea level and at least 10km from the nearest town would be playground enough for anyone. Clearly not.

But just as I was in danger of becoming insufferably pompous about how we molly-coddle kids today, I met these two…

A German Mum and her 13 year old daughter walking together. The whole way. All 825km of it. Just for the fun of it.

I think that’s the sort of thing that’s supposed to happen on The Camino.

Here’s a couple more pictures:

Filed under: On The Road Tagged: Charity, Photograph, Rethink Mental Illness, The Santiago Way, Walking

Can Brain Imaging Aid Diagnosis of Mental Illness? (mobile format)

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/767822 According to this article, SPECT scanning lead to a complete change of treatment plan in 57% of patients scanned. Why is this not routine? More later on this topic, dear readers.

Copyright 2012 Laura P. Schulman all rights reserved


Back to Reality

Vacation was great. I have color, had a good time, and relaxed. Had a lot of moments of realization but with that, I also had moments of perplexed thought.

The house was still standing when we got back. Didn’t look like any parties had taken place in our absence. The house did kind of smell like pee which kind of pissed me off (the little dog will NOT go pee out in the rain, you have to force her to. And since it rained here for the most part, I am guessing that is what the pee smell was).

I just don’t understand why people lie. And why do they lie about me? And the lies make me look like this horrible ogre. I think what makes it all hurt worse is that these lies are coming from my own daughter. She lies to my face, she lies behind my back. It just makes me so sad.

But without getting into all my personal business… I’m dealing the best that I can.

Only took Ativan twice on vacation; on the way there, and on the way home. Only had one day where I has out of sorts and grumpy. That was like mid-week, so perhaps I was just having a bad day.

I miss my friend Miss Tea. (That is our nickname for her; She coined them. I am Miz. Coffee and she is Miss. Tea) I know she has been having a rough time lately with a lot going on. So, Miss. Tea, if you are reading this; I love you, miss our talks, and hope things are sorting themselves out. We need to video chat soon!

Today is my 11 year wedding anniversary. God Bless my husband! We have been together for 12 or so years. But as you can imagine, it’s been a bumpy ride. I thought about this recently, and have realized that this past year our relationship has improved greatly. I have been med-free and I feel like I have had an actual part in the relationship. I have been participating. So, I’m taking it all in stride. Because you never know what is going to happen and when you are going to be thrown in the nut hut or be put back on meds. I received a lovely sapphire/diamond and white gold necklace. To match my ring he gave me last year for our anniversary. He is thoughtful at times. :) I think I’ll keep him. Thank the powers that be that he has stuck by my side. I have been a hot mess, and have had my moments of NON-Clarity…

Seasons

School started yesterday. Yes, it is indeed rather early, especially considering they got out at the same time as the rest of the country (mostly) in early June. I used to think this was idiotic but as I have marked the years we live here, it makes more sense to me. See the thing is … Continue reading

Two Minds

The depressed brain says: ‘Whiskey! Marlboro Reds! Oblivion! Can has?’

The rational brain says: ‘No, we can’t go that route. Even though it would be so much easier than bleeding on the knife edge.’

 


 

But seriously, today is already a horribly hard day. I came into work, but I’m already regretting that decision. I don’t have the strength to deal with any minor dinks, whether it be my daughter doing ragey toddler things, or my father-in-law’s noisome ways, or who knows what. I’m sure I’ll start screaming at the wind or lack thereof shortly, just because my brain very much wants to be angry and sad and I don’t have the strength to wrangle it in. Part of me is screaming for more meds, as if they could magically and immediately fix my pain. Another part of me is glad that I’ve not had to go the antidepressant route yet. I’m not sure how it could have gone any better at home though. Sure, I wouldn’t have the people-in-my-space problem, but I would have to deal with miserable heat that the A/C may or may not touch at my set distance from it. I’d have to deal with the cats, as I’m sure one would decide that it is mete to be extra-needy. I just no that no matter what choices I make or those around me make today, they’re all going to be wrong. No matter what, everything will be wrong because my brain has decreed it so. All the logic in the world isn’t going to fix that right now; the chemical bath it has produced is too strong.

It hates it, forever. But I’m stuck with it.

I repeat as I always do — that doesn’t mean I’ve given up and given it free reign. If I had, it would be the aforementioned smokes-n-booze scenario of antiquity. And I know that without that less than ideal cushion, the crash is going to be even rougher-seeming (from this vantage) once I lose the last couple of straws holding this bridge up. The inevitability… sucks.