I am high as a kite, and I never want to come down!!!
It is so much better than the horrible depression that I was experiencing……I am so full of life & energy that it seems surreal. I am getting up with the Sun everyday[I usually do, but now I seem to spring out of bed!] and stretching, then doing my workout, then doing my everyday stuff, like getting our Son ready & then walking him to School…..then when I get back I do other assorted chores when Aurea isn’t here, and then I swim, and do aquatic exercises, and then I float on my back when I am tired, and I meditate like that, in the pool. It is so peaceful, I just close my eyes, and feel the warm Sun on my face & body, and the silence because my ears are submerged. It is almost impossible to Not meditate when like that, peacefully floating around, it’s almost like flying, in a way. I know that probably doesn’t make much sense, but it’s how I feel.
I am still on Meds, Just Mood Stabilizer and the occasional Valium. I am on a lower doses than I was when I was feeling Depressed, and I am not taking Zyprexa, but I was when I was down, because I was having horrible mixed episodes, and my train of thought was going down the wrong track, I wanted to hurt myself, and that is never a good train to take. So, just a week of Zyprexa and an increase in Mood Stabilizer and I seemed to calm down……then 3 days ago, I woke up and was like “WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!” I sprung up out of bed and just felt something had changed, and it was for the better. I was just feeling really happy, laughing at little silly things and just feeling full of Joy. I wonder if I am going to feel Euphoria……usually for me a high starts with Euphoria, but sometimes I feel up for a week and then I get the Euphoria, which is so indescribable……mere words do not do it justice…….it is a feeling like no other! I feel like I am walking several feet off of the ground, and everything is so bright, and I glow with happiness [or so I have been told].
I have been getting out a bit more, and I want to go to the City sometime this week and do some shopping!!! I will just have a set amount of money, my Husband will give me a wad of cash [Mad Money!!!LOL] and that is all I can spend, so there will be no trouble. I have been taking care with my appearance, I am dressing up and wearing makeup and parfum everyday after working out & swimming…..I will shower and then take the time to try and make myself feel as beautiful on the outside as I feel on the inside, and I must say that it is wonderful. Here in CR it is more old-fashioned as far as Manners go…..Men hold doors open for you, they take your bags when you get into a Taxi, then hold the door open for you, and when you get to your destination, they open the door for you & help you out of the Taxi, and help you with your bags. A friend of ours here, who happens to be a Man, said that there is just something about me that makes people want to do things for me. I take that as a compliment. Maybe it is because I am polite and smiling when I go out? Or maybe because I am dressed up ? Or maybe they can just feel the happy energy come off of me? Whatever it is, I don’t care because…..
I NEVER WANT TO COME DOWN!!!