At A Loss

So, for those that don’t know, I have an 18 year old daughter that has just started therapy. So far she has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Throw in that she has ADHD but does not take medication for it. So, obviously she has some issues, look at her mother! LOL And well, look at her father. :/ No one on his side of the family is very sane… So the odds were against her from day one, I’m afraid.

At any rate, I don’t know how to help. I’m helping the best that I can, but I’m afraid that is not enough. She has no friends. And I really can’t blame people for not wanting to be her friend sometimes. She is brutally honest, but can really be sweet and has a good heart, but damn is she mean! It makes me so sad to see how venomous she  can be.

She doesn’t live at home, she lives with her boyfriend. She has been living with him since September. But they don’t appear to be too happy at the present time. She doesn’t work because of her panic attacks. He just quit a good paying job to work at a gas station store. So, they are now living on minimum wage and about 20 hours. On top of that, she just got braces a couple months ago, and hasn’t been able to go to another appointment because they can’t afford it…. I kinda warned her about this, but as always she didn’t listen to me.

She comes over here when he is at work, because she can’t stand to be alone. I can understand to a certain degree. But she plops here on the couch watching Life of and American Teenager on Netflix…. Ok, I have a 5 year old that should not be listening to this crap. She has a wall in our basement that has the stuff that was in her room, that my husband an I moved out, because after asking her several times, she never did it. My husband is trying to make the basement a nice place to game, and well, when you can’t comfortably leave the stairs because all of her crap that she refused to go though is still there, we have a problem.

I have asked her to just go through the crap and throw away what she doesn’t want anymore, and we will store the rest. But, no. Apparently that is too much to ask for.

I can appreciate that she has issues. And at first I was really having a hard time with it. I was of the mind “Damn, just get up and do something! There is nothing wrong with you!” But then I remembered, you can’t see anything wrong with me either… And I had a really rough patch while medicated that I didn’t do squat, and I wouldn’t go anywhere…. So, I have no room to talk, ya know?

I try to gently nudge her, but it doesn’t work. I try to listen when she talks, but I get so aggravated. I just don’t know what to do to help her. Do I even help her? I mean gah! Being a parent who suffers from Bipolar having to cope with the fact that your first born has a disorder or two herself, is rough. I want her to grow up and not stand in her way, and I am trying to let go and let her be independent…. I just don’t know what to do. It makes me so sad and I’m at a loss.

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