Happy Mother’s Day to all Mums who live in North America! Here in Costa Rica Mother’s Day is August 15th. It is a big deal & it coincides with the Feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, but this is about Today, North American Mother’s day.
I feel joy on Mother’s Day, I remember when our son was born, and when he was still a toddler, and now he is 7 years old! Time flies.
I also feel an immense sadness on this Day, and that is because my Mother lost 3 of her children to suicide. I am still around, but it must be very hard for her to think about how many children she used to get Mother’s Day cards from. This is another reason for me to try and be as well as possible, she doesn’t like to see me suffer and I am sure it must remind her a little of my siblings and their depressive behaviours. I am Bipolar 1, I presented with classic symptoms, and there was no doubt that I was and still am a maniac…….which is different from my siblings. I don’t swing down very often, but when I do it can be quite frightening. My Mother has seen me manic, which can be quite fun until I start getting angry, or mixed. She has spoken with me on the Phone whilst I was in a mixed state and it was very confusing to her. At one point she just said “Stop crying right now my Girl, just calm yourself.” She was quite stern, and I had a flashback to when I was a girl and she would say that to me when I would get upset. She’s kind of the “stiff upper lip” generation……that must be beneficial to her, because at the Funerals she held herself with a quiet dignity, and I am proud to say that I did the same, though afterwards I did cry, sobbed my heart out for a good long time. I admire my Mother for her Grace and Dignity in the most awful of situations, and even though I do not resemble her in looks [she has blue eyes and freckles] I hope that I resemble her in my spirit and intelligence, which I give her full credit for. She is the best, and I cannot wait for her to come down here to CR & enjoy her retirement and hopefully, my company. I Love My Mother!
Just an aside:
I resemble my Father in Looks, and I got the crazy blood from his side of the Family……one of my cousins committed suicide, another lives in a nice “rest home” he is schizophrenic, and they are cousins on my Father’s side…..no doubt that mental illness is Hereditary in my family.